Newnan’s Largest Lessener 13

Three weeks to go in the contest.

It’s been another rough week.  Spring is in full effect so it’s gone from chilly to swampy in the last week.  Hot and humid are great for sweating your ass off, but not so much fun for outside exercise when mixed with pollen and breathing in gasps.

I feel like I’ve given up on exercise, or it is giving up on me.  The people who get a euphoric feeling from working out can go “blank” themselves.  I get that the time I put into it is more than paid back over the rest of my life, but man I’d rather be playing WoW so much more today.

Then I get a massive hemorrhoid and sitting, standing or laying hurts like heck.  Forget about doing sit ups, jumping jacks, walking and the like.  It takes effort to not scream driving into work.  I am looking into something called a Sitz basin to soak my ass and relieve some pain and keep the area clean.

So many gross things about being human and that is toward the top of the embarrassing to explain list.

I’m taking it as a sign to not work-out ever again.

Not really.

So how did these things affect my results?

Now the numbers:

	2/9/2012	4/27/2012	5/4/2012	LW	AdvoVar
Neck		17.50	17.25	(0.25)
Left Arm	16.50	16.00	15.50	(0.50)	(1.00)
Shoulders	58.50	53.75	53.00	(0.75)	(5.50)
Chest	56.75	52.50	52.00	(0.50)	(4.75)
Waist	55.00	48.75	48.50	(0.25)	(6.50)
Hips	49.00	45.00	45.00	-	(4.00)
Left Thigh	28.50	24.50	24.50	-	(4.00)
Left Calf	18.50	17.75	17.50	(0.25)	(1.00)
Left Ankle	10.50	10.25	10.00	(0.25)	(0.50)
Left Wrist	7.75	7.50	7.50	-	(0.25)
BP	159/104	140/86	129/83	-
Pulse	70.00	65.00	79.00	-	(5.00)
Weight	319.20	280.40	277.60	(2.80)	(41.60)
Contest	330.00			15.88%	(52.40)

Almost THREE pounds this week people!  Now I can’t attribute that to exercise or eating, because I ate well, so it might be something in the Advocare products.  Who knows?

For the record, here is my eating plan nearly every day:

Before Breakfast:
Vitamin Package/ThermoPlus/Catalyst and Spark (all Advocare products) 30min before eating

Breakfast:
Breakfast Shake/Vitamin Packages (all Advocare products)

Snack:
Banana and Almonds (Oatmeal on weekends)

Lunch:
Vitamin Package/ThermoPlus (Advocare)/Salad (bigger some days than others but premix Garden package with Spinach added)/Protein (chicken, tuna or eggs 6oz)/Fruit (Apple usually)

Snack:
Catalyst/Spark (Advocare)/Lean Protein (Hummus usually) with celery sticks or carrots/Fruit (if I skipped it at lunch)

Dinner:
ThermoPlus (Advocare)/Protein (baked chicken or fish (salmon, tilapia, mahi mahi)/ steamed Vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, peas and the like)

Snack:
If necessary! (I try to not and never after 7ish at night) Rice cakes with nutella or peanut butter

Adding it up I keep it under 1800 calories a day, less now that I don’t try to exercise.  I skip most complex carbs and the like (sugars, flour, rice and potato).  I try to limit sugar in general and anything that goes past “real” foods (like honey is more okay than corn syrup that is better than high fructose corn syrup).  I am also low on milk products that have a large amount of sugar and fat (butter, cheese, milk and even yogurts).

As if all that wasn’t enough to keep track of I also limit my salt intake.  There is a reason why I track my blood pressure and so I don’t add salt foods about 90% of the time.  I also look for the low sodium, no sodium varieties of food.  

The Exercise Routine:

Shut up.

Diary of a Fat Kid

Thanks to this weather I am remembering how I got the most exercise in the summer growing up.

Running after the ice cream truck as that awful music played through a bullhorn.  That music cut through a nap, a window A/C unit, a TV blasting an episode of Gilligan’s Island and just about everything else too.  I’d here and rush to find my mom, if she was awake, and get my allowance – for doing chores not just given to me.  I’d take the fifty cents and speed out of the house to chase down the rusting box van rolling slowly toward the next street.

If I was lucky the man was stopped helping one of the dozen or so kids who threw themselves in front of his vehicle to get him to stop.  Then I’d have time to review the picture menu and hone my choice.  Would it be the three flavored rocket pop?  Maybe I was in a citrus-y orange push up mood?  Did I have the necessary two free hands to eat the chocolate malt which required a spoon?  These were the live or death choices of a ten year old in the middle of July.

Then on the days you didn’t have a hefty allowance to throw around, you ended up eating the horrible icee pops from the grocery store.  Those things that were just colored tubes of sugar water that weren’t even sold in the freezer section.  They were just sitting on the floor in that section to be picked up by moms who hated their kids.  We got them regularly.  Their flavors were red, green, purple and blue.  They all tasted the same so all you were picking was the color your mouth and tongue would be for the next three days and the potentially lethal chemicals stained your soul.

Summer choices were also expanded because Dairy Queen was open from May to September.  OMG sprinkles on a cone!

The Plan:

Getting my ass back together, again literally, and getting back into the minimal morning exercises and the walk to the mailbox and back to do something that feels like I am doing something besides just exercising to be exercising.

Fake it until you make it.

Later.