New Plans Same as the Old Plans

I’m on the second week on the new lifestyle which was the most recent lifestyle only there is no contest now.

Finished the 10 day portion of the cleanse and am on the same eating schedule I was on for the 3 previous months.

This will sound sad to you but I’m kind of glad.  I can see that I am not good at making smart meal decisions and after the weekend of dubious eating choices I feel more comfortable with the shake for breakfast, the salad for lunch and the steamed vegetables with chicken or fish for dinner.  I’m also not as uptight about it now.  With no contest looming in the distance I don’t kill myself emotionally if I eat a donut at work or a cookie or a dozen.

The key for me is not making a misstep into a binging week.  Have a cookie, don’t eat cookies nonstop for a week.  Believe or not that was how it used to be.  Even better, say you eat a little too much on Wednesday thereby blowing your diet and think to yourself “oh well, I’ll start again next Monday” or next month or next year.  That was the old philosophy.

Every minute is a new minute.

The Numbers….

	6/1/2012	6/8/2012	6/15/2012	6/22/2012	LW
Neck	17.00	17.50	17.00	17.00	-
Left Arm	14.50	15.50	15.50	14.50	(1.00)
Shoulders	54.00	54.75	53.00	54.50	1.50
Chest	50.75	50.50	51.00	50.00	(1.00)
Waist	48.00	46.50	47.00	45.50	(1.50)
Hips	44.50	44.00	43.75	43.00	(0.75)
Left Thigh	25.00	24.00	24.50	23.50	(1.00)
Left Calf	17.50	18.00	18.50	17.50	(1.00)
Left Ankle	10.00	10.00	10.00	10.00	-
Left Wrist	7.50	7.50	7.50	7.50	-
BP	137/84	136/86	132/79	150/89	-
Pulse	67.00	73.00	69.00	69.00	-
Weight	272.40	272.00	271.60	265.60	(6.00)

So it was a good week for the numbers.  Six pounds down so there is no plateau at 270.  Maybe 260 will come faster than I thought.

I’m now concerned that I won’t be able to wear that fancy cashmere sweater this fall because it will be too big.

Also, I have to ask about getting some new shirts from work because the old ones are billowing tents on me now.

Still not exercising much at all.  I am filled with energy and dash up and down the stairs at work but none of this is translating to a desire to sit on a stationary bike, trod on a treadmill or climb on an elliptical machine.

I have been playing video games a lot, blowing away the stereotype of gaining weight by sitting around on the computer.

My book title “How I Lost over 100 lbs playing WoW” and then cashing the checks.

Really, I’m not sure why it helps.  Sure it’s messy to eat pizza and hammer a keyboard, but I did it before.  However while I am playing games I don’t think about food.  Unlike watching TV or movies or reading where my mind wanders and I get bored and I eat, playing games keeps me engaged enough to take me away from food.

I’ve come to realize that most of the time I eat it’s because I am supposed to eat more than I am hungry.  I know that waiting until I feel hungry to eat almost always ends with me eating too much to compensate.  So eating on a schedule regulates me and helps me avoid the “starvation/binge” eating that hit me all the time before this plan.

So I am eating right, working hard and playing games.  So far this is all working well to keep me on the right course for me.

Diary of a Fat Kid

 I wonder how growing up with a working mom and dad affected me and my brother growing up.

Dad wasn’t a 9-5 office worker during any significant portion of my life.  He worked in real estate, insurance, then for the government in a management capacity.  So he was home a lot during the day.

Mom worked nights in a factory job.  I think she had periods of time not working but after the move to Germany she was a regular 9-5 worker and always had a very blue collar kind of attitude.  Have a job, do your job and don’t lose your job.

Dad was always looking for a way to make money that didn’t require actual work, physical labor or long hours.  I’ve learned since then that people he looked up to as examples actually spent most of their waking time working for what they had, but not my old man.  He always seemed to expect things to work out for him.

I do not share this view of life.  I never expect things to work out for me.  I am always thinking of the things that go wrong.  It’s worked well for me since I am checking work for problems and looking for issues that might prevent business from working out for my company.  My life is prewired for risk management, contingency planning and accounting.

My brother went the other way.  He’s more like my dad than he’d ever admit.  He’s never been good with the 9-5 job, taking orders from others or being a lower cog of the machine.  He seems to think it’ll all work out without any hard work.  He’s not there yet.

All that points out just one thing, maybe I am lucky to be wired for the hard work, the planning for the worst and the discipline.  Got me through college, kept me working through the boom and bust and it should get me through the rest of my life.

How you eat is a job and you have to work at it, if you don’t you won’t get anywhere.

Just like my brother.

Later.

New Week, New Plan and Still the Same Life

So there I was last Saturday afternoon.  I had eaten pizza and hot wings for breakfast and topped that off with Blueberry Cream Pie Ice Cream (the half gallon not the pint).  Now I was looking at the wrappers of the most disgusting lunch I’d eaten since February; a bacon double cheeseburger, side of fries, an order of everything on them fries, a vanilla milkshake, a large coke and not one but two apple pies when I get a text message.

“Come weigh in for the contest.”

Yep, two weeks after the end date we finally had the weigh in.  No warning, no planning and (I am sad and proud to admit) no last second vomiting.

I weighed and then I left.  I still have no idea who won, I was nearly the last to step up to the scale but one person is still unaccounted for.

Whatever, I’m not bitter.

So now I need a new goal and a new motivator.  I like having a finish line, maybe more solid than the contest’s but a legitimate time frame.

Here’s the next goal, 250 lbs by August 29^th.  Two and a half months until a trip to Minnesota for a few days to see my mother and go to the state fair.

Now the numbers, and for the record last week is the missing week and I’ll talk about them a bit.

	2/9/2012	6/1/2012	6/8/2012	6/15/2012	LW
Neck		17.00	17.50	17.00	(0.50)
Left Arm	16.50	14.50	15.50	15.50	-
Shoulders	58.50	54.00	54.75	53.00	(1.75)
Chest	56.75	50.75	50.50	51.00	0.50
Waist	55.00	48.00	46.50	47.00	0.50
Hips	49.00	44.50	44.00	43.75	(0.25)
Left Thigh	28.50	25.00	24.00	24.50	0.50
Left Calf	18.50	17.50	18.00	18.50	0.50
Left Ankle	10.50	10.00	10.00	10.00	-
Left Wrist	7.75	7.50	7.50	7.50	-
BP	159/104	137/84	136/86	132/79	-
Pulse	70.00	67.00	73.00	69.00	(4.00)
Weight	319.20	272.40	272.00	271.60	(0.40)
Contest	330.00			281.20	14.79%

Alright, see the weight on 6/8/2012, right up there (272.0).  One day later, ONE DAY!, and I weighed in for the contest at (281.20).  I shoved over NINE pounds worth of weight on in just over 24hrs.

Do you need a greater cautionary tale?

Then a week later, really just four days after getting back into the plan, and I am back on track and lost almost half a pound (really almost 10 of the gluttony weekend add on ).

Can’t wait to see next week and I’m already feeling better as the crap leaves my system.

Secretly it’s what you know but can’t say, you can occasionally indulge in a favorite food, but you can’t live fast food meal to fast food meal.

If only I could apply this mind set to exercise.

I am getting back into the morning work outs slowly.  Clearly if I was blowing it up I’d put up the chart with all the check marks and reps and other words exercise people use.

This will be the main focus of this time frame.  I have the eating and food more or less figured out, now I just need to integrate a sensible movement plan into my life.

Diary of a Fat Kid

Comfort foods, I have no idea what these are.  For me all food is comfort food.  I know the starchy beauty of Mac n’ Cheese, Mashed Potatoes and Spaghetti.

I indulged in the flavor and textures of steaks, chicken and fish.  I’ve demolished dessert tables and ravaged bread bowls.

All food is comfort food.  These days it’s hummus and celery sticks, or rice cakes and Nutella. 

I can’t pinpoint a single event that tied food to feeling good.  Every holiday, every birthday, every family gathering was a mixture foods and fun.  How can food not be tied to feeling happy when you have Thanksgiving?

Looking at how I motivated myself for diets in the past with a food based reward at the end and how plans that sell books today work with “cheat days” I can see a major flaw in the thinking of childhood me.

All good feeling do not require food, do not come from eating food and actually have nothing to do with food.

Crazy right.

After last weekend where I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted I found there was no comfort in eating food.  If anything I was going through the motions.  I ate my favorite pizza (lasagna pizza with meatballs and ricotta cheese) and it wasn’t that great.

So for this week I’m working out more and becoming less addicted to needing to eat so much.

Maybe I need to find a therapist.

Later.