Year 2 Week 12 Day 1

The mantra is…ehhh…I feel sick today.

Here's the numbers game.

Last week was 306.6 and this week is 307.2. Eff this shit. Man do I feel like crap and I have all weekend. Like the flu or something has descended on me. Wake up this morning feeling achy and pained after a weekend of spastic colon activity that cannot be helping me stay hydrated.

Also really hate when people describe other people as "he's fat, not like you're fat but ya know bigger." I mean I could pretend it's complimentary, but it's really not all that awesome.

Now don't get me wrong, I just typed 307.2 lbs like a minute ago, so I am not delusional about being a swimsuit model. And it's not like it's incorrect it just bugs me.

Maybe this relates to the compliments I get from my mother. She didn't have a breezy childhood or nothing but she's the one where when I brought in a test with a 96% she'd say "Oh, so you missed two." It was a weird dichotomy to grow up with as my mom was the glass is half empty and you work your whole life and if you are lucky you die broke. Then my dad was so ridiculously optimistic that he'd spend money he didn't have on the blind faith that he'd be making money hand over fist in a week, or a month, or a year or whenever. Literally, the man thought a 5' 11'' white kid who was near sighted might play college basketball or football even though my only "talent" was being bigger than anyone else.

So I didn't have a great week and I feel like I might puke or crap my pants at any minute. Other than that tis is looking like a great week.

Well, now I am really screwed since I don't feel like exercising at all and on the very stupid premise of one pound a week I am supposed to be going for 300.6 lbs this week. At least this might coincide with my not being able to hold down food this week.

Well, I'm broke too, so maybe I'll just die.

Later,