Year 2 Week 7 Day 1

The mantra is…blah, blah, blah

I am stuck in the middle of the winter doldrums. Usually that's not a big deal in Atlanta as bad weather comes and goes so fast and we usually hit at least 60 once or twice in a month. This year we are getting snow twice a month and not getting much over fifty degrees since Christmas. I have spent nearly 30 minutes total outside in 2010, including walking to and from my car. So the getting a variety of exercise is right out and the non-stop cramped up inside is not helping my motivations in general.

That said, here's this week's number.

Last week was 315.0 and this week was back to 310.8 for a loss equal to last week's gain or -4.2 lbs.

That doesn't suck but it still leaves me feeling like I am stuck in a rut where I can't break the 310 barrier in any consistent basis. Now I have been over three hundred pounds for more than ten years and maybe I have a little too much invested in my self-image as a fat man. Just a weird self-sabotage seems to happen and it happened when I was eating healthy regular meals and it happens now when I am eating very poorly.

I love the numbers and I love having the simple goals and the long range goals, and it's not even about the bad food I eat because after it's over I never feel better about myself.

The worst thing was that 13 years ago I was under 250 lbs and working quite well towards healthy eating and better exercise and even better work and more money. What the hell happened to me then?

Anyway the goal for last week was 308.8 and for this week it's 307.8, so "just" 3 lbs for the week. I am really trying over the next 30 days or so because there is a large family on March 14^th. It would be nice to be in better shape and looking fitter before hitting the heartland for some classic fattening Midwestern cuisine. Butter isn't just a topping or an ingredient, it's a main course.

I doubt watching the Winter Olympics will give me any motivation this season so I'll have to figure out a new way to push myself as this dreary weather continues to sap my will to live, much less work out.

The only thing keeping me going is "Mass Effect 2" and trying to get Commander Shepherd through the missions as he and I save the universe. I mean come on, all I have to look forward to is MN in March?, really, are you going to harass me about enjoying a video game now and then? Fine, I'll get back to work.

Later.